How dieting slowly destroying your life?
Let me paint a picture for you.
A 55-year-old woman has dieted many times before. But right now she's feeling terrible about herself because she's “let herself go” and regained back all the weight that she lost before. She is feeling disgusted with herself, unhappy, defeated, and disappointed. She is also completely dreading the idea of doing another diet.
And yet she feels like she has no other choice.
I mean, isn't that the way that you're supposed to lose weight? you go on a diet. This is what we've been taught.
And so she seeks out yet another diet. The latest and greatest; intermittent fasting, combined with a low-carb diet. It sounds pretty reasonable and safe. Sure, why not?
And she learns all the rules and regulations. And she does it, yet she soon realizes that she's not happy again. She's losing some weight. But it's just hard, you know, it's just really hard.
And she starts to blame herself again. I can't do this. There's something wrong with me. How come I don't have more willpower?
And so she stops because she really wants to have some corn on the cob and some watermelon at her summer barbecue.
Oh, the guilt. The shame.
She can’t seem to understand what is wrong with her.
She wants to lose weight and love her body so badly but she also wants to enjoy her life. She can’t seem to reconcile the two. She doesn’t see how she can lose weight without suffering.
But in the end, her desire to feel free about her food wins out over all the rules and regulations. She just can’t do it. She thinks her only choice is to just live with her body the way it is. But she hates how she feels and looks.
This is the typical scenario.
This is someone whose life is actually being destroyed slowly but surely by dieting.
Because it's all about blaming herself. It's her fault. She's not good enough. She doesn't have the willpower.
So what can this woman do to heal from this paradigm?
Well, it starts with first recognizing that the “dieting paradigm” is designed to keep you coming back for more. It is not designed for you to be successful in your weight loss endeavors.
One example of this is when former Weight Watchers executive Richard Samber responded to the fact that only 16% of WW members maintain the weight they lose for 5 years with the following:
(The Company) is successful because the other 84% come back and do it again.— Richard Samber - former WW executive
Diets are not designed for you to be successful at keeping the weight off.
So first we have to recognize the paradigm for what it is.
It is rooted in fear.
It requires that you be in fear of, let's say, getting sick, or in fear of being rejected or not loved, or being judged.
They play into our fear.
To put yourself down and feel bad about yourself is exactly what they want.
So we have to actually step out of that paradigm.
And it's not easy, because we've been so conditioned to think dieting is the only way to feel good about ourselves.
So they're relying on your feeling that way.
What I am suggesting is a completely different paradigm, which is based on accepting yourself for exactly who you are right now, and accepting the past.
Because the truth is, we can't change the past, it's already happened.
Acceptance is a really great first step into this new paradigm.
Practicing self-love, acceptance, forgiveness, and compassion is the paradigm.
But we're not used to that, so it's not very easy.
So what I've created is a set of systems and protocols that actually help you to practice that self-love, because self-love is a practice. Unconditional compassion, love, and forgiveness towards yourself is a practice, it doesn't just happen.
That's a very important thing for us to remember, it doesn't just happen.
So we have to keep at it every day, we have to remind ourselves.
But it's not enough to practice self-love, compassion, and forgiveness. We then have to take action, or else, our bodies won't change.
Self-care is an act of self-love. It is an action. We can’t just “feel” self-love. We have to take action that is a manifestation of self-love. That is what self-care is.
Self-care means that you eat food that nourishes your body. Self-care means that you move. Self-care means you cherish your body.
Whereas the fear-based model is punishing, blameful, and restrictive, the love-based model is where you take healthy responsibility and it feels good through and through.
And you cherish your body and give it the love, care, and attention that it deserves.
And there are many things that you can do that feel really, really good when you do them.
And so you do them because they feel good, not because you're afraid of dying. And you do them because they're pleasurable, and you feel good before, during, and after, not because you don't want to look a certain way.
And that is a completely different perspective to come from with all of this.
But, and this is really, really important, we cannot realistically expect to step away from the fear-based paradigm all at once.
Life is all about duality. Stuff happens. Some days we feel full of self-love and other days we couldn’t care less.
The sooner we accept this about ourselves, the better.
On days when I feel low motivation, rather than berating myself and wishing things were different or I was better or stronger, I give myself extra love and compassion.
That is the secret to practicing TRUE self-love. We have to understand that it’s not like one day we hate ourselves and the next we become enlightened and we’re perfect from then on.
That doesn’t exist. We are always going to ebb and flow in our self-love practice.
As a matter of fact, when we feel low motivation or low self-love or impatient with ourselves or the process, that is exactly the time when we need to pause, give ourselves grace and extra love, and be curious.
Because that is when we learn and we grow.
This is when the practice of self-love becomes a real practice.
So, I invite you to recognize that the dieting paradigm wants you to hate yourself when you fail.
I want you to love yourself when you fail.
The dieting paradigm wants you to think you have to look better and be thin.
I want you to love yourself no matter what, and to appreciate your body for all it does for you.
And when you can’t do that, forgive yourself and take it easy.
You might think that this could not possibly lead to long-term weight loss and health.
But the other way does not work for most of us anyway.
If you are reading this I can only guess that it hasn’t worked for you.
So, how about trying something completely new?
You have nothing to lose except an attachment to an archaic, patriarchal, greed-driven paradigm that makes you miserable.
And you have everything to gain, such as happiness, peace, pleasure, joy, and freedom….all things that will, I promise, lead to better health.
Since this is my life’s work I have implemented the knowledge and experience to create a three-step system that will help you stop dieting and start practicing self-love and deep self-care so that you can improve your health, lose weight gradually, and actually ENJOY THE PROCESS.
The three phases we use include:
Step 1 Slow Down - Commit to practicing self-love and deep self-care, and tap into your body wisdom.
Step 2 Supercharge - Add superfoods and lifestyle practices that nourish your body and mind and that you enjoy.
Step 3 Sustain - Develop a pile of healthy habits that make the whole thing sustainable.
The WYN Program can help you step into a completely different paradigm.