In this video, I will show you how to reduce the disappointment that often comes in the journey toward weight loss. When things don’t go our way, how do we stay motivated and continue to care for our bodies?
Watch the video to find out!
VIDEO TRANSCRIPT
Let's talk about disappointment in the Weight Loss Journey.
In the weight loss journey and the health building journey, a lot of times people feel disappointed. It could be because you're working really hard and your body is not responding as you think it should, it could be that you're maybe not doing as much as you think you should. So you've put some expectations on yourself that you should be working harder, you should be better. And those things can lead to disappointment. And disappointment is a normal human emotion. So we're not going to try to get rid of that.
What I want to talk about is how we can reduce it.
I often talk about dancing that fine line between thriving and striving. Thriving is appreciation, slowing down, and recognizing that things are going great, and you've done a lot of great things for yourself. And striving is recognizing that there's still more to do, and you maybe want to try something new or set new goals for yourself.
So we all kind of want to dance that fine line. And also you could think of thriving as acceptance. So the reality is what it is.
And a lot of times we get disappointed because we are trying to fight reality.
So for example, you're doing a lot of stuff. And your body is not responding as you think it should. Well, that's the reality, the reality is not fun, but it is the reality. And so if we can just accept it, then that opens up space for new ideas.
It's when we're fighting against reality, then we get slowed down.
And so the striving can happen, but with the acceptance.
Another way to think about it is, “Oh, I'm not doing enough, you know, I messed up again, I ate that food, I didn't work out”, whatever it is, and beating ourselves up for not doing more. Well, let's just accept the reality for what it is, “I ate the cake, Okay, that's over, that's in the past, I can't change that." So rather than fighting against it, let me just accept it.”
So a big part of reducing disappointment is recognizing that there are certain things you cannot control.
And just accepting that.
And when you do that, all of a sudden, magically, you open up space for new ideas for new opportunities for maybe a little bit more willpower, or somehow you just feel better, and you're okay with getting up and working out.
So then the acceptance is this magical opening up, that happens that can help you to not only feel less disappointed, because once you accept it, part of that is you're not going to feel disappointed anymore, because you're just like, okay, “it is what it is”.
But the other magic is that that's when our brain starts working in a different way. And we open up to new creative possibilities.
If you are really attached to a particular outcome, then you're in a way cutting off the flow of different possibilities.
So when you think about being disappointed, because you're not reaching a particular outcome, maybe there's a reason for that.
And if you're spiritual, you may think, Oh, well, the universe has a different plan for me than I expected. Or if you're religious, you might say, Well, God has a destiny for me, that God has a plan for me. And so that can make it a little bit easier to wrap your mind around it. If you're an atheist, and you don't believe in any spirituality, well, then, as an atheist, really, you can just accept reality, you have to accept reality.
So no matter what background you're coming from, the important thing is that when you start to get too attached to a particular outcome, and this is a lot of the teachings in Buddhism, right? That's when the disappointment comes.
So at this point, you might be thinking, “Oh, well, Jill's just telling me I should just accept everything I give up.”
No, I'm not saying give up.
So again, walking that fine line between striving and thriving, that's not giving up because you're still striving.
You're still moving towards your goals, but you're doing it from a place of inspired action.
When you're caught up in negative thinking and disappointment such as “I'm not good enough and my body why isn't it listening to me?” You're completely closing yourself off from taking inspired action.
So once you can accept reality for what it is, and just be with it. Then all of a sudden again, as I mentioned, you magically open up to possibility.
But what you're really doing is emotionally opening up for a different attitude.
And when you think about taking inspired action, that means you're taking that action, you are taking an action, but you're doing it from a place of love.
You're not doing it from a place of self-hate, “Oh, I hate my body. I hate the way I look. I'm disgusted with myself.”
That's not where the action is coming from. The inspired action is coming from; “Well, things are the way they are things have unfolded the way they have unfolded. What can I learn from that? And what can I do, what's the most loving thing that I can do for myself right now?”
And a lot of times that is caring for your body, that is going to bed a little bit earlier, and eating something more nutritious, and going out for a walk in nature, that is the most loving thing you can be doing.
So take inspired action, rather than just getting completely demoralized by disappointment and giving up.
And the last piece to this. And this is super, super important.
A lot of times when we're moving toward our goals, in particular, with weight loss, we equate the process as being work, as being "we have to suffer, we have to deprive ourselves, well, we can't eat that”. “And I have to reduce my carbs, I have to work out really hard.”
And so of course, we're disappointed when we don't get the results we want. We're not having fun in the process.
So what I'm suggesting is that not only do you accept what is and you take inspired action, but you make that action, something that's at the very least tolerable, maybe even enjoyable, hopefully, pleasurable.
So that requires doing things that you enjoy and taking baby steps because sometimes we don't like to work out. But we have to work out, right, we have to be physically active.
So maybe that means if you don't like working out, maybe you walk for five minutes outside in the beautiful air. And that's something that you can at least enjoy. You can always build on it.
So taking inspired action doesn't have to be this big production, it could be something very simple, that's easy for you to do, that's pleasurable even.
And therefore, as you're going along, it doesn't feel like work anymore, and you're not as disappointed because the action you're taking is kind of fun.
So you would kind of do it anyway. Even if you weren't moving toward a particular goal.
So you see where the magic is?
There's the acceptance of what is. And that takes daily practice.
“Okay, I'm not happy with this situation, but it is what it is. My body is doing what it's doing. Okay, now, what's the next thing I can do to take some inspired action. And let me make sure that that action is something that's small and easily done and attainable and enjoyable.”
And therefore the process is not drudgery anymore. It's gradual. And it's enjoyable, and you actually are making progress in the right direction.
That's how we get rid of disappointment in the process when inevitably things don’t go as planned. This is inevitable. Things are not going to go as you planned or as you desire. That's just part of life.
So how do we navigate that? We navigate that by accepting things that we cannot control. Taking that inspired action from a place of love, and choosing actions that are easy and pleasurable.
And so I'm hoping that this is very, very helpful for you because I think it's pretty awesome. Because I want this process to be pleasurable for you and to be a journey toward learning more about yourself.
And remember that we do have programs that can help you we can we can walk with you on this journey.
So if you're interested in that, you can book a strategy call with me and see if it makes sense for us to work together in one of our programs.
